The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy. ~Jim Rohn
Your psychological health and emotional wellness affect how you feel and think as well as how you cope with life. It can affect your ability to deal with life stressors and your relationships with others.
Accept yourself and your emotions. Emotions are crucial for living and experiencing your life fully.
If you are like most people, you have suffered some pain or disappointments that left you emotionally wounded. By healing these emotional wounds, you can increase your ability to experience life more deeply and improve your ability to relate to others. It can help you find fulfillment in your relationship with yourself and others. It can increase your life satisfaction and happiness.
How Can You Tell If You Have Emotional Wounds?
Your emotional issues can show up as recurring problems with your relationships. Self-defeating patterns and emotional unavailability can keep you from enjoying closeness and intimacy in your relationships.
If you have trouble making relationships work, it may be a good idea to explore with a therapist if you have any significant emotional issues in need of healing.
You can also assess your emotional health and wellness by answering the following questions:
- Do you have the ability to develop lasting and deeply satisfying relationships?
- Can you relate well to other people?
- Are you in touch with your feelings?
- Are you able to express your emotions appropriately, including anger, sadness, fear, love, joy and happiness?
- Are you uncomfortable showing and telling people how you really feel?
Accepting Yourself and Your Emotions Can Allow Emotional Healing to Take Place
Coupled with spiritual and mental healing, emotional healing can decrease your pain and suffering. It can relieve your tortured soul and improve your life.
Our culture doesn’t value strong emotions. Emotions are viewed as irrational, unpredictable or dangerous. Most people are taught to keep their feelings under control. We are taught not to feel negative emotions, such as, anger, sadness, fear, hurt and despair. We are taught to rise above them. We are taught to focus on more acceptable emotions and let go of negative feelings.
It’s not surprising that most people don’t handle emotions well. Most people have learned to repress their feelings. Some people are easily overwhelmed by their emotions and have trouble staying emotionally stable. Others are stuck in one particular emotion — such as, anger, fear or sadness – and they’re constantly reacting from that state; for example, they usually react to unpleasant events in their life with explosive rage, anxiety or depression.
Emotional denial or repression of feelings is destructive to your health. Why? It is an attempt to reject and eliminate an important part of yourself. It can never work. When you try to get rid of a core part of who you are, you end up being in conflict with yourself. When you try to control, deny, disown or change your feelings, you can cause more emotional damage to yourself.
All feelings are important. They are part of yourself. They need to be honored and respected.
Emotions are crucial for living and experiencing your life fully. Instead of denying or repressing them, you can discover the gifts they can bring into your life.
Your feelings can reveal something you need in your life. They can make you aware of something you need to do. Maybe you need to bring something into your life. Maybe you need to let go of something or someone.
Anger can reveal more vulnerable feelings, such as, hurt, fear or sadness. If expressed appropriately, anger can help you reclaim your power. It can help you speak your truth. It can help you stand up for yourself and set your boundaries.
Fear can warn you that something might be difficult or dangerous. So that, you can pay attention, evaluate the situation and choose the appropriate action. Without fear, you can end up in many dangerous and life-threatening situations.
Accepting your emotions allows you to accept yourself. When you truly accept yourself, you can experience compassion and unconditional love for yourself. In turn, this allows you to feel compassion and love for others.
Self-acceptance is at the core of emotional healing. Accepting your emotions allow you to experience a deeper, more satisfying life. To feel happiness and joy, you must embrace sadness. To feel peace, you must honor your feelings of anger and fear. To feel strong and powerful, you must accept your weakness and vulnerability.
Emotional healing involves being in touch with how you feel, being able to tell someone what you are feeling and having that person validate your feelings.
Validation of your feelings provides assurance that you have the right to your emotions. It lets you know that you are not wrong or crazy for having those feelings.
Underneath most of our emotions are our basic needs for acceptance, love, self-esteem and security.
Most people have experienced emotional neglect, abandonment and hurt as children – no matter how hard their parents have tried to meet their basic needs. Some people carry these emotional wounds for the rest of their lives.
By learning to accept yourself and your feelings, you allow emotional healing to take place. How? You become the loving parents your wounded inner child needs. By learning to accept, experience and communicate your feelings, you allow others to understand and validate you.
The experience of having someone understand and validate your feelings also allows emotional healing to take place. How? You allow others to become the loving parents your wounded inner child needs.
Emotional healing takes time. It can take many months or even years to unfold. It cannot be rushed. Sometimes, it can take many years to heal deeper emotional wounds. As each wounded layer is healed, you can experience a deeper and more satisfying life.
Emotional healing empowers you to be true to yourself. It allows you to express yourself honestly and authentically – it allows you to be who you really are.
By allowing yourself to experience your deeper feelings, you can learn to become comfortable with all your emotions and bring them into healthy balance.
When you heal old emotional wounds, you will no longer need to run away from painful feelings stuffed deep down inside you. Instead, you can gain deep wisdom from your painful past experiences.
What’s the Potential Downside For Accepting and Revealing Your Feelings?
Most people are afraid that their relationships will fall apart if they reveal their true feelings. When you become emotionally healthier and you are able to express your true feelings, it is possible for you to lose some people in your life. However, the people you will probably lose are those who can not or do not want to deal with the real you. The ones who will be left in your life are those who accept you and love you just the way you are.
If you can’t be yourself, the price of staying in these relationships is too high. Losing people who don’t value and accept you is not really a loss. It is an opportunity to choose better people in your life. You deserve to be with people who value you, who accept you and love you just the way you are. You are worth it. You don’t have to settle for anything less than you deserve.
What’s the Difference Between Mental and Emotional Healing?
Your thoughts are more connected to your rational and conscious mind. In contrast, your emotions come from a deeper, less rational place.
To a certain degree, you can consciously choose your thoughts. In contrast, you only have a choice about how you handle your feelings – you can choose to deny them, act them out or consciously acknowledge and work with them.
You can improve your own life, if you are willing to take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, behavior and actions.
You can be more conscious of your thinking patterns and make better choices in the way you handle your feelings. You can take responsibility for your emotions instead of blaming others or your circumstances for your feelings of guilt, shame, anger, anxiety, sadness or insecurity. Other people or your circumstances may have caused you to feel pain and suffering, but you have control whether you allow your pain and suffering to go on.
If you want your pain and suffering to stop, you can take responsibility for yourself and say: “It’s up to me to change my life.”
Understanding and accepting your emotions can help you love yourself. Accepting and loving yourself can open you up to experience loving and deeper relationships. In turn, this can open you up to experience a deeper, more satisfying life.